I'm Pretty, That's Odd
by heychelsletschacha
Summary: Oneshot. Massie and OCD and the gang have an interesting pep rally... a different sort of songfic. WAYYY AU.


"Ehmagawd," Massie groaned. She was sitting at her white desk, her MacBook Pro in front of her. "Could Mr. Myner give us any more homework?"

She opened up Safari and went to YouTube, her fingers typing gracefully over the keys.

"What's this?" Massie murmered to herself. "The Evolution of Dance? What the heck?" Massie clicked the link that brought her to the video. After staring at the screen for thirty seconds, she 'X'ed out of the page with disgust.

"How do people watch that mindless garbage?" She said, to nobody in particular. "And now I have to write my paper on premature earthworms with those songs stuck in my head!" Massie pouted, opening up Photobooth to practice some sultry faces for the camera.

"Gawd, Massie. You are always so melodramatic!" A poof of purple sparkles erupted from her left shoulder, and a three inch mini-Massie was standing on her shoulder and whispering in her ear.

"Ehmagawd, who are you?!" Massie shrieked, trying the shake the mini version of herself off of her shoulder.

"That's no good, love," the sprite Massie said. "I can't fall off. I have no legs, silly!" Sprite Massie lifted up her purple minidress to prove it.

"Ehmagawd!" Real Massie jumped up from her spot at her desk. "Bean! Tell me this isn't happening!" She cried, her amber eyes darting back and forth as she searched for her black pug puppy.

"I'm right here!" Suddenly another poof of black sparkles burst directly above her right shoulder, revealing a three inch mini-Bean standing on her shoulder and whispering into her right ear. "Don't pop an artery."

"Ehmagawd, this is nawt happening, this is nawt happening!" Massie hyperventilated, closing her eyes and pinching her arms.

"I think our favorite alpha is a little tired," mini-Bean said.

"YouTube tends to do that to people," Sprite Massie agreed.

Real Massie cautiously opened her eyes. "Just leave me alone!" She flipped out again, a series of spasms in her upper body emerged as she tried to shake the sprites off her shoulders. "You're just hallucinations!"

"She needs rest," said Sprite Massie thoughtfully.

"Sweet dreams, Massie," said mini-Bean, as Massie dizzily sank to the floor and curled up with her eyes shut very, very tight.

**XX**

Massie's eyes shot open. "Ehmagawd. I could have sworn I was back at the iPad…" She realized that she was back in the halls of OCD.

"Hey Massie!" Derrick waved. He had an acoustic guitar in his hand.

"Hey, Derrick," Massie replied back cautiously. Wasn't Derrick still mad at her for spying on him? Whatever. Massie shook it off. "What's up with the guitar?"

"It's pretty, isn't it?" Derrick said, admiring his guitar. "Pretty… odd…" Derrick finished thoughtfully. A light shone in his eyes as he began melodiously strumming the instrument.

He skipped over to Massie, still strumming, with a grin on his face. "Things are shaping up to be pretty odd…"

Josh appeared, smiling like a Chesire cat. "Little deaths in musical beds!" He exclaimed in harmony to Derrick's guitar. "So it seems I'm someone I've never met." Josh danced merrily, tapping his toes to the beat.

Massie stared at the two boys, dumfounded by their performance. Josh grabbed her hand as he pulled her down the hallway, skipping.

Alicia appeared, pointing to Kristen, who was spray-painting the lockers with a decorative "OCD SUCKS!" inscription. "You will only hear these elegant crimes," she sang.

"Fall on your ears from criminal dimes!" Derrick vocalized merrily. "They spill unfound from a pretty mouth," He gestured to Massie, who promptly gagged as a river of dimes flowed from her perfect mouth.

She gasped and wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her purple Juicy Couture tracksuit. "What is going on here?!" She yelled, but Derrick was busy strumming his guitar and step-kicking his way to the cafeteria.

"And everybody gets there, everybody gets there," Derrick sang, tossing the guitar to Chris Plovert, just in time to snap his fingers and tap dance.

"Everybody gets their way," Josh said, his arms reached towards the sky.

"What do you mean, 'everybody get's their way?'" Massie exclaimed, clearly exaspereated with the situation.

Josh held a finger to Massie's mouth as Alicia kissed Josh and Josh kissed Claire as Cam kissed Claire as Claire kissed… Kristen?! What the heck?!

Massie covered her eyes with horror.

"I never said I missed her when everybody kissed her," Cam said, shrugging as he pointed to Claire. "Now I'm the only one to blame," Cam sang as Claire walked up to him and yelled, "We're over!"

"I kissed her too," Kemp whispered in Massie's ear.

"Gawd, I'm so confused!" Massie said, pulling her own hair in frustration.

Then Kristen leaped on top of a lunch table and sang, "Things have changed for me, and that's okay!" Kristen grabbed Dylan and kissed her on top of the lunch table as the Café applauded.

"Go Dylan!" Plovert said, clapping. Dylan beamed at him. "I feel the same, I'm on my way, and I say…" Suddenly Dylan and Kristen were wearing wedding dresses and paraded out of the cafeteria holding hands.

"Lesbians?!" Massie gasped. But suddenly she felt the urge to dance along with everyone. She grinned, singing, "Things have changed for me, and that's OKAY!" She screamed joyously while yelling, "I'm free! I'm finally free!"

Massie ball-changed throughout the Café, twirling and tapping. She danced over towards Derrick and grabbed him by his necktie. "I want to go where everyone goes… I want to know what everyone knows!" Massie gestured towards the dancing crowd.

Cam's guitar sounded throughout the Café as the marching band drummed to the beat. "I want to go where everyone feels the same!" He sang, as Massie and Derrick leaned in for a kiss.

"I never said I'd leave the city," Derrick assured her as they hugged.

Massie threw her head back, laughed, and exclaimed, "I never said I'd leave this town!"

"A falling out we won't tiptoe about!" The Café chorused as the marching band led the way out to the soccer field. Merriment swept through the dancing crowd, and Josh lifted Alicia up on his shoulders in time to yell, "Spirit fingers!" at the dancing crowd below her.

**And everybody gets there, and everybody gets there,**

**And everybody gets their way**

**I never said I missed her when everybody kissed her**

**Now I'm the only one to blame**

Derrick laughed and threw his hands in the air as Kemp and Plovert did flips and somersaults across the field. Massie skipped happily next to Derrick as Dempsey exclaimed, "Things have changed for me, and that's okay. I feel the same, I'm on my way… and I say things have changed for me!"

Dempsey did handsprings over to Claire as he picked her up on his shoulders. Claire giggled.

"And that's OKAY!" The crowd cheered, singing in unison.

"I feel the same!" Griffin said, tugging at his hair to pull off a wig. The girls gasped at Griffin grinned.

"EHMAGAWD GRIFFIN IS REALLY ZAC EFRON?" A mob of girls squealed and chased him off the field towards his limo.

"Oh…" Kristen said, disappointed. She perked up and announced that she and Dylan were back from their honeymoon. "Champagne for everyone!" She cheered.

"Well things have changed for me!" Derrick sang. He raised his hands up, "Come on everybody, let's dance and sing!"

Massie leaped into his arms and cooed, "I'm singing it all night long." Derrick raised his eyebrows and grinned. "Come on everybody and join along! I'm saying…"

Josh climbed to the top of the football post on the field. "Well things have changed for me, come on everybody, lets dance and sing," Josh vocalized as he jumped down to join Massie and Derrick.

"I'm singing it all night long!" Alicia screamed to the sky.

"Come on everybody and sing along!" Alicia, Massie, Josh and Derrick sang together.

They skipped towards the center of the field, arm in arm, as Plovert, Kemp, Dylan, Cam, Kristen, Claire, Dempsey, and Griffin, who was now Zac, joined in on the chain.

The marching band trumpeted as they the crowd sang in unison, "Things have changed for me, and that's okay! We're on our way, and we say…"

But then Massie and Derrick looked into each others eyes. "Things have changed for me," they sang to each other, holding the last note.

Massie and Derrick, Alicia and Josh, Claire and Dempsey, Dylan and Kristen, Kemp, Plovert, Cam, and Griffins, who was still Zac, all looked thoughtfully into the sky as the trumpets stopped and the guitar notes faded into the sunny, warm day.

**XX**

Massie drearily opened her eyes, realizing she was collapsed on her floor.

"What a strange dream," Massie pondered. She shook it off and got up from the floor. "Things have changed for me…" She hummed as she walked out the door.

"She should cut down on the pedicures," noted Sprite Massie, watching from her post on top of a shelf.

"The fumes must be getting to her head," agreed mini-Bean.

Well that was really strange, in my opinion. But Panic! At the Disco does that to people. (:

Review?


End file.
